How To Maintain a Good Relationship With Your Nanny

August 4, 2016

Finding a good nanny can be difficult. That’s why once you find one who is a good fit, it’s important that you work hard to maintain a good relationship. founder and child care expert, Martha Scully, has put together her top 9 tips to help you improve the communication and mutual respect you and your nanny need to have if you want to make the working relationship a good one.

9 Ways To Foster a Strong Relationship with Your Nanny

Work Hard at Communicating Regularly

One of the best ways to keep up a good relationship with your nanny is to communicate frequently. If you don’t have time to touch base in person every day, consider using a notebook, daily log or technology like child care apps, email, or texts to stay in touch.

You can write reminders or ideas for the caregiver to put into practice, and she can note any concerns, ideas or even simply what the children did that day. For best results when it comes to child care, combine this method of daily communication with regular meetings once or twice a month.

Bring Up Any Concerns in a Constructive Way

It’s best to let your nanny know as soon as possible when you have any concerns with the child care arrangement. If you let the problem persist for too long, you run the risk of letting out your frustration in a nonconstructive way that could make your nanny feel attacked. When you do decide to approach the issue, allow your nanny to explain her reasoning. Also, do not discuss your issues with the caregiver when the children are present.

Give the Nanny Your Full Support

Nannies need to know that parents support their decisions when it comes to child care since parents should trust that the nanny has the children’s best interest at heart. This is why it’s important to show that you and your nanny are considered partners in child care. If the nanny tells the child she cannot do something, don’t reverse that decision by telling the child the opposite. This undermines the nanny and makes it less likely that your child will listen to or respect the caregiver.

Show the Nanny Your Appreciation

If you are impressed by your nanny’s performance, say so, either verbally or in a note. You can even give the caregiver a bonus in the form of cash, gift card, present or dinner out whenever you are especially happy with your child care situation. After all, once you find a great nanny that you and your children are happy with you will want to make sure that she is satisfied and enjoying her position. This will avoid other families from nanny poaching. A little appreciation can go a long way toward keeping your nanny loyal to your family, so recognize your special nanny whenever you can.

Let Your Nanny Know You Think of Her As a Professional

Everyone wants to be taken seriously, including nannies. This is why you should show that you trust her judgment and respect her as a professional. Make sure your children do the same; simply modeling the behaviour you want them to follow should help them figure out how to treat their caregiver.

Honour Your Word

If you tell your nanny you will be home by a certain time, be home by then. If you can’t help being late once in a while, at least call or text to let her know, and then pay her extra. And when it comes to regular payment, make sure you pay her on time, every time. Be sure to factor in the occasional bonus, raise or vacation time for the nanny, too.

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Also, if you need to add to your nanny’s responsibilities — such as if you want her to do housework or run errands for you — update the contract and increase the pay as needed.

Be Flexible With Your Caregiver

Schedules change sometimes, and this applies to your nanny as well as you. If she has to run some errands of her own once in a while and needs to take part of the day or the whole day off, try to be understanding. As long as she gives enough notice for you to find another caregiver for the day or to take the day off yourself, you should be accommodating. Consider going over the procedure with her to request time off, ensuring she knows how to tell you and how far in advance to ask for the day off.

Make Sure Your Family Respects Your Nanny’s Privacy

Just because you have a live-in nanny doesn’t mean she’s okay with never having privacy in your home. Make sure she has some time to herself on her days off, which means teaching your children to go to you and not the nanny for their needs when she is not working. Allowing her to have her space sometimes will ensure she is refreshed and ready to care for your children when you need her.

Encourage Your Nanny to Socialize

Make it easy for your nanny to stay in touch with other nannies in your city. This way, she will have some peers to socialize with which is important when it comes to combating loneliness and promoting a good work/life balance. And when she meets up with other nannies during the day, your children will get an automatic play date with other kids, which is beneficial and fun for them, too.


It likely took you a long time to find a nanny you could trust, you can see how important it is to maintain a good relationship with her. After all, not putting any time or effort into this relationship could result in you losing a great caregiver, requiring you to start the search for a nanny all over again. Following these tips from the start can help you avoid any issues and will ensure both you and the nanny are happy with the child care arrangement.

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Martha Scully founded in 2002 while on maternity leave with her two daughters. Over the years, the demand for this service has grown substantially, and has grown with it. Today, we are Canada’s largest and most recognized online service for finding nannies and babysitters. has been recognized by Today’s Parent, CanadaAM, the Globe & Mail, Reader’s Digest, Canadian Living Magazine, and many reputable parenting websites and publications across Canada.

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