Fighting Parents!
Advice for Caregivers

Fighting Parents!

by Martha Scully

A Mississauga nanny sent us this email the other day, requesting our assistance in what to do:

I have worked for a family that I really like for the last two years; their home almost feels like home to me. I feel comfortable around them, but lately, a situation has made me feel very uncomfortable. The parents have always gotten along, but in the last two weeks they have been fighting a lot. There always seems to be tension in the air when they're around. The children are starting to notice and asking me questions about it. I guess my problem is two things... What do I say to the kids, and do I address it with the parents?

We  always remind nannies that they are employee, and to try and not cross the line (even when you are living in someone else’s home). This is a hard circumstance because the children are asking you about the situation. Whenever possible, this information should come from the parent, not the nanny.  I would talk to the parent and tell them that the children were asking you what is going on with mom and dad.  Explain how the child was upset or concerned, and that you felt that was a great question to ask the parent. Encourage the child to talk to their parents about their feelings. If the parent starts to explain to you what is happening, try to be understanding, but assure them that you do not need to be informed as you are sure that it is a personal matter. 

Has this happened to you? How did you handle the situation?

More on this topic: - Nanny

About the Author
Martha Scully
Martha is the founder of CanadianNanny.ca. Martha has been featured as a Child Care Expert in hundreds of publications across Canada including The Globe and Mail, CBC, Today's Parent and The National Post, She lives in British Columbia with her husband and two daughters.